First of all….., I’ll bet you think I am beginning a series of funny observations because I love lists and I can occasionally be humorous. But I tricked you. Instead, I am just going to rant about people who start statements with “first of all” and then leave you hanging. No “second of all” or “third of all”, etc. It drives me crazy. Because I really love lists so I keep waiting for what comes after “first of all” and then I’m disappointed when nothing arrives. What’s the point of an unaccompanied “first of all”?
Then, several weeks or months later, someone will start a thought with “Also” or “Another thing”. But it doesn’t relate to anything you’ve just been talking about. That’s because it’s a follow-up to a hanging “first of all” from a prior conversation, and now you’ve got to rifle through your decaying memory to recall what they’re referring to. Usually, “another thing” is followed closely by one if it’s cousins, “always” or “never”. Then you’ve got to really rack your brain to try to think back for exceptions to whatever it is you “always” or “never” do. Or, sometimes, all of a sudden, they’ll start off a random thought with “actually” when they suddenly think of a good example to emphasize a point they made on your honeymoon (oops!).