We were required to evacuate our home for Hurricane Irene. A fireman came to the house with his official vehicle, light flashing, and informed us that we were in a flood zone and must leave immediately. He further informed us that his life was more valuable than ours and, therefore, he would not be back to save us if we stayed.

We were surprised to learn that there are valuations being done on the lives in our local community. We never received any notice. Each year we receive an assessment on the value of our home with an inevitable real estate tax increase. You would think they could also have sent around the valuation on our lives in the same envelope. I’ll bet there is an inverse correlation with the value of our home.

When I think about it, I’m not really surprised that the value of my life is relatively low (my wife probably just suffers guilt by association). Lawyers never rank very high on anybody’s list. Add to that the fact that I am also an investment banker. Once we were “Masters of the Universe”, but since the great financial meltdown of 2008, we have become blood-sucking vampire squids (or their close relatives). In addition, I am a baby boomer, part of the generation that ruined the environment, blew up the economy and is poised to bankrupt Medicare and Social Security. And, perhaps most importantly, I haven’t been buying any raffle tickets for the annual Fireman’s Benefit.

So, now you know, don’t get caught anywhere near me during a fire or flood. No one is going to save me.