Slowin' Down with Fast Eddie

I have spent a lot of time over the last few days waiting on NYC subway platforms perusing magazine covers. Among the numerous Tattoo, Muscle and Hip Hop titles, my curious eye was drawn to several headline teasers in the current Cosmopolitan, such as “Talking Tricks That Draw Him In.” I was intrigued by “What Men Crave in July” and felt quite certain that it was the same thing they crave in the other eleven months. Then there was “50 Things You Should Have Never Stopped Doing.” I wondered how you could have ever gotten to 50 before you noticed there was a problem. I can think of one in particular that is a sure sign of trouble ahead.

As I read these headlines, I had the brainstorm that it might be my destiny to write for Cosmo, sharing my vast and varied life experience and providing women with more practical relationship advice than they appear to be getting. At the very least, I could do the titles, such as “Don’t Stand in Front of the TV and Other Keys to a Long-Lasting Relationship“, or “Goat’s Cheese & Grilled Vegetable Salad and Other Recipes to Save For Your Girlfriends“. How about “Don’t Eat Off His Plate: A Fool-Proof Guide to the First Date“. Then there is “Why The Speakers Can’t Go Behind the Couch and Other Decorating Tips” or “How to Work the Home Entertainment System When Your Husband is Away.”