Summer’s Best Kept Secret

September is summer’s best kept secret. The Summerfolk have gone and the kids have returned to school, leaving the East End of Long Island to the locals, the tradesmen and the retirees who’ve yet to flee south for the winter. The roads are clear and the restaurants are suddenly accessible. The farm stands are still bursting with tomatoes, corn and homemade fruit pies, and the time to pick apples and pumpkins is upon us. The air is crisp, the skies are bright and the sun lies low in the sky, glistening off the ocean and bay.

Each morning I safely ride my bike, unthreatened by August’s speeding BMW’s running stop signs while their drivers talk on their cell phones. I cover miles along the beaches, ponds and back roads without ever seeing a car or truck. Upon my return I head to the beach for lunch, some reading and a nap without fighting for a parking space or being awoken by a crying child or maddening game of Kadima. The ocean temperature is surprisingly warm. Just before dusk I head out on Sam’s Creek and Mecox Bay in my kayak, alone and tranquil, to witness the herons, egrets and passing Canadian geese feeding on the jumping fish, with only the symphony of wildlife as the soundtrack to my evening’s exercise.

In the evenings, the movie theaters have abandoned the summer fare of sequels and gross-out comedies in favor of indie or foreign films, festival favorites or award hopefuls. The TV networks have begun their new seasons. The Yankees are still in the thick of a pennant race. The Jets and Giants have begun their campaigns and not yet given up hope. The European soccer season is underway with ample coverage of Chelsea by ESPN and Fox Soccer Channel. On weekends the villages host harvest and harbor festivals offering home-cooked recipes with fresh local produce. The art galleries and museums are still stocked with shows proudly displaying the East End’s rich artistic history.

October is pretty good too.

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Helvetica

What is your favorite font? Mine is Helvetica.

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Wisdom Teeth

I love my wisdom teeth. We go way back. They’ve been with me through a lot. But for some reason, they piss off my dentist. I think he just doesn’t like reaching so far back to check them out. Every time I see him, he tells me that he wants to take them out before they cause a problem. I tell him they are my favorite teeth and they haven’t caused a problem yet. In general, I don’t plan to remove any body parts as a precautionary measure.

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Buck

As summer fades so do the weekly releases of romantic comedies, action flicks and gross out movies in favor of the more serious festival films and potential Oscar nominees. One such example is Buck, an award-winning (Sundance Audience Award) documentary on the life of Buck Brannaman, the cowboy horse trainer who inspired Nicholas Evans’ The Horse Whisperer and served as an advisor on Robert Redford’s film of the same name. Buck tells the story of a man who transcended an abused childhood as a rodeo rope trick performer to become a gentle empathetic horse trainer/psychologist who works wonders with his equine pupils with very little, if any, use of force. His methods speak more to the power of one’s essential humanity to communicate and lead than they do to horse training per se, methods that can be applied more broadly to how we humans relate to each other. The film is emotionally moving whether you have an interest in horses or not. If it comes to your local art house theatre, it would be worth your while to see it.

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What’ll Ya Have?

Reading menus can be very stressful. Choosing your meal can be agonizing. It can make or break your dining experience. One of my daughters has anxiety attacks when faced with a new menu and always chooses the same thing in restaurants where she has eaten before. My other daughter researches the menu in advance and won’t even go to a restaurant unless she knows what she will order. My approach is to quickly eliminate all the strange combinations and things I don’t like (organ meats, oily fish, vegetables that are really weeds) to find what’s left.

You also can’t make your own choice in isolation. You must be wary of what others at the table are doing because you may have to defend your meal from predators. Look out when someone asks you what you’re having and then says “Oh no, I was gonna get that!” This suggests that they are now gonna get something else (probably organ meat and weeds) and eat part of yours (lobster ravioli and filet mignon). And you have to beware of the social types who say “why don’t we get a bunch of appetizers for the table and share?” Then, they ask you what you think of the next presidential election as soon as the food arrives. As you answer, count their bites. One of the most dangerous predators is my mother, who just orders a bowl of soup and says “I can’t eat like I used to”. What she really means is she wants no evidence of how much she really ate. But as the matriarch of the family she believes she is entitled to half of everything from anyone to whom she is remotely related (all Jews descended from Eastern Europeans) or is within arm’s distance.

Some people love the menu review process, but are not satisfied with just the written word. They require multi-media presentations like the plastic models of sweet and sour pork or beef with broccoli they have in Chinatown or a tray full of raw cuts of beef with live lobsters waving at them. I always find it helpful when they show me a large beefsteak tomato so I know what a big tomato looks like before it is sliced. Some people ask the waiter a lot of questions and want detailed descriptions to animate their experience. One of my friends enjoys this so much that he closes his eyes and smiles broadly as the waiter recites the ingredients and manner of preparation. You can feel him being transported to a special place.

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