Curb Your Screaming Kid

Where is Larry David when you need him? Tonight while my wife and I were having dinner at a local restaurant, there was a kid screaming for about twenty minutes while five adults (her two parents, her two grandparents and her nanny) sat there stubbornly eating their dinner. To the considerable dismay of the other thirty patrons who did not have screaming children, the five adults made little meaningful attempt to shut her up other than unsuccessfully trying to stuff bread and a bottle in her mouth . Finally, after the father finished his dinner, he graciously picked up the screaming kid and took her outside. As he did so, the restaurant erupted in applause.

All along I was praying there was a Larry David in the room who would get up and go tell them what the rest of us were all thinking–that these selfish, inconsiderate people were ruining dinner for everyone else. But strangely, no one was willing to confront them. As fans of Curb Your Enthusiasm know, Larry would never have tolerated the situation. He is a “social assassin” who breaks the rules of etiquette, challenges social convention and says what is on his mind. There is a little of him in all of us. We think it, but he says it. And we laugh uncomfortably when he does. But sometimes we just wish we could hire him for a social “hit” or two.

Posted in Humor, Ruminations, Television, TV | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Fast Eddie’s Progress

Today marks the three-month anniversary of Slowin’ Down with Fast Eddie. I’d like to thank everyone for their support and encouragement so far. I’m having fun. I hope I’m making you smile. Slowin’ Down has enabled me to keep in touch with friends and family who I don’t often get to see (as well as those I see every day!). It has also reached old friends and colleagues who I haven’t seen or heard from for many years. It has even reached new friends that I have yet to meet. Amazingly, despite my writing 100 posts over three months, Slowin’ Down alienates far fewer people than I do in real life. So I will no longer be seeing people in person. If you want to get in touch, just post a comment and send pictures.

So far Slowin’ Down with Fast Eddie has over 11,000 cumulative page views, with over 1,000 page views in just the past week alone. There are currently 60 email subscribers who receive posts directly by email. On average each post receives 2 1/2 comments directly on the blog and many others on Facebook or Linked-In, plus lots of emails from those of you who are too shy to expose your thoughts publicly (I don’t blame you). The most-viewed posts so far have been Ice Cream (Gelato), Dad’s 80th Birthday, Fort Knox, My Younger Daughter, and Burgers. What was your favorite (see poll below)?

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I Love Lucy

Ball as Lucy, Vivian Vance as Ethel on the &qu...

Image via Wikipedia

Happy Birthday Lucy! Lucille Ball would have been 100 years old this weekend. My first memories of television are from watching Lucy, Ricky, Fred and Ethel on I Love Lucy, and I’ve enjoyed watching the reruns ever since. Every generation can still enjoy this great sitcom even today. Were you a Lucy fan too?

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The King of King’s Road (8)

(continued from The King of King’s Road (7))

Each day after finishing their chores, a group of the firemen at the Chelsea Fire Station gathered around a communal table in their locker room and played poker. On most days as the homeless man swept the fire station, he watched the men slowly gather for their daily poker game, until finally one day his curiosity drew him into the locker room to watch them play. The firemen paid little attention to their spectator as he stared intently at their cards and followed each player with his eyes as the bets moved around the table.

As each card was dealt face up, its picture registered immediately in the homeless man’s memory. He could easily keep track of the cards that were showing on the table and, by deduction, which cards were held in the players’ hands or yet to be dealt. The probabilities raced through his mind as he watched the firemen play hand after hand. He stood and watched without saying a word. After about an hour, one of the firemen opened a fresh deck of cards and handed the used deck to the homeless man and told him to keep them. The homeless man smiled, nodded and began to shuffle the deck. He shuffled the cards quickly with the sharp crack of an experienced player. He manipulated the cards in just one hand and rolled half the deck from top to bottom through his fingers. The firemen noticed and smiled, recognizing that they had an experienced card player in their midst.

The homeless man took his new deck of cards and went back out to his spot next to the fire station on The King’s Road. He set out his coffee can and cardboard sign and began to play with his cards, shuffling, manipulating them through the fingers of a single hand and spreading the full deck in the same hand. Before long, passersby began to notice the homeless man and his deck of cards. A few people stopped to watch. The homeless man spread the deck and held it out to one of the bystanders and nodded at the cards. The bystander understood and drew one card from the deck and held it closely without letting anyone see which card it was. The homeless man nodded and held out the spread deck again. The bystander replaced the card and the homeless man thoroughly shuffled the deck several times. He then flipped over the top card from the deck and showed it to the group. The bystander smiled broadly and acknowledged to the others that the homeless man had correctly identified the card he had selected. One of the other bystanders asked the homeless man to repeat the trick, which he did over and over again well into the afternoon while people stopped to watch and drop coins in the homeless man’s can as a sign of appreciation of the smiles he had brought to their faces.

To be continued… 

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Poolside Playlist

Summer is more than half over. It’s time to get serious about having some fun. Here’s my poolside playlist to help you get in the mood. Take it with you on your vacation and enjoy.

  • All Summer Long, Beach Boys
  • California Girls, Beach Boys
  • Tequila, The Champs
  • Could You Be Loved, Bob Marley
  • Cruel Summer, Bananarama
  • Here Comes the Sun, The Beatles
  • Hot Fun in the Summer Time, Sly & The Family Stone
  • House of the Rising Sun, The Animals
  • Jamming, Bob Marley
  • Kokomo, Beach Boys
  • Long Hot Summer, Girls Aloud
  • Old Cape Cod, Patti Page
  • Red Red Wine, UB40
  • Soak Up the Sun, Sheryl Crow
  • Summer’s Almost Gone, The Doors
  • Summer in the City, Lovin’ Spoonful
  • Summer Love, Frank Sinatra
  • Summer Nights, John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John
  • Summer Nights, Rascal Flatts
  • A Summer Place, Andy Williams
  • Summer Wind, Michael Buble
  • Summertime, Bon Jovi
  • Summertime Blues, Eddie Cochran
  • Sunny Afternoon, The Kinks
  • Surf City, Jan & Dean
  • Surfer Girl, Beach Boys
  • Surfin‘ Safari, Beach Boys
  • Three Little Birds, Bob Marley
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